For Erriiin again.
Title: Insomnia
Author: icefalcon
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: Bleach
Pairing: Byakuya/Ukitake.
Warnings: Somewhat fluffy! Somewhat angsty! My Byukuya is angsty. Somewhat incoherent
Disclaimer: not mine. Same universe as Distance.



By all rights, curled up in bed with his new lover, Byakuya should be at least mildly content.

It was a frighteningly good feeling to be where he was, listening to steady breathing beside him, even with the unconscious tightening in his arms every time a cough racked Jyuushirou’s deceptively sturdy frame.

However, although the warm and bare skin pressing against his chest was intoxicating, an unselfconscious sharing that was entirely new to Byakuya, but was not entirely enough to make up for the fact that his lover appeared to have some sort of cotton wool excuse for a bed.

Sticky sheets he could deal with, but how did Jyuushirou ever sleep with all these pillows? Horrible fluffy creations, what seemed like hundreds of them piled up and scattered all over the bed.

He discreetly pulled another one out from under his knee. He hadn’t noticed that one previously in his unseemly haste to return an all-but-fainting Jyuushirou to somewhere safe. The coughing and faintness had passed quickly and Jyuushirou had given him another excuse for not noticing the undignified pillows.

Sleep was impossible on these things, but staying near him like this was hardly Soul Society’s worst punishment.

“Mmm? What are you squirming every which way for…’ a deep voice, husky with sleepy amusement murmured into his ear.

Byakuya froze.

In the newness of this, of them, of something he wanted so badly to keep, Jyuushirou could instantly make Byakuya feel young and awkward.

Awkward, and out of his depth in a way he hadn’t been since he was fresh into his first position at Fourth Seat of the Thirteenth Division, and aware of the huge gap that lay between their ages and experience.

If Byakuya had been anyone else, he would have regretted, just a little, wasted years and opportunities. But he wasn’t.

Instead, he would not waste what he had now.

Jyuushirou let out a tired laugh, and pressed a drowsy kiss against his neck.

‘So pensive? Should we have gone back to your bed?’

Back to the bed he had shared with Hisana, and a sterile house full of past memories? No.

Byakuya rolled onto his back – and onto another dozen pillows, letting out what on anyone else would be a sigh.

As long as Kuchiki Byakuya had Ukitake Jyuushirou, until the day Jyuushirou looked at him the same pitying affection that she had, rather than the love that blazed there now, he would stay, pillows and all.

Jyuushirou propped himself up on one elbow, trailing soft strands of hair over Byakuya’s chest as he turned to look blearily at him.

‘Byakuya? What's the matter?’

Jyuushirou broke into a fit of coughing, chest heaving as he was swiftly held up by Byakuya.

Not going to lose him ever his own muscles said, forcing a hand to gently stroke down Jyuushirou’s back and not crush him frantically against him. I need…

After an unhappy face that never truly smiled… Byakuya had learnt to need very little. Jyuushirou had a smile that just for him, and that was enough. That would be enough.

He had forgotten that Jyuushirou had more to give him.

‘You don’t have to worry so much when someone loves you back, Byakuya,’ hoarse words mumbled against his shoulder as they both caught their breath.

And caught their breaths again, as Jyuushirou turned and forced Byakuya into a heady kiss that lingered.

‘Love doesn’t mean you have to stoically put up with things that make you unhappy. Or at least -’ Jyuushirou smiled that smile, for him, and flicked his hair into Byakuya’s face ‘- at least you don’t have to put up with it silently.’

I love you. I love you as you are. I’m not going to leave if you fail. I want you. I want this, said Jyuushirou’s eyes, deep and rich. Eyes that were looking at him, only him, a small frown at his silence marring the smile that belonged only to Byakuya.

Byakuya remained still for a long moment.

‘Are you sure?’ A voice smaller than his own.

‘Yes! Of course -' Jyuushirou broke off with startled laughter as Byakuya scooped him up from the bed and threw him over his shoulder.

‘Good. The pillows go.’

He disposed of the monstrosities with the swiftness only a captain could (in the next room, in case Jyuushirou was attached to them) and tossed the laughing Jyuushirou back down onto the bed, pale limbs and pale hair forming a provocative taunt.

‘You’re still laughing?’ Byakuya pronounced in the best stern captain monotone he could muster with his hair down and the only possible claim to clothing a sheet somewhere around his ankle.

‘You make me happy,’ Jyuushirou said simply, and pulled Byakuya down to him.